Poor mans Lambo

                                                                     I'll take one or two


Weird sex laws

I dont know how many of these are true but they're good for a laugh.

If a police officer in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, suspects a  couple is having sex inside a vehicle they must honk their horn three times, and wait two minutes before being allowed to approach the scene.

Women must address bachelors as master instead of mister, according to an Illinois state law.

A law in Oblong, Illinois makes it a crime to make love while fishing or hunting on your wedding day.

A law in Fairbanks, Alaska, does not allow moose to have sex on city streets.

In Ventura County, California, cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.

Clinton, Oklahoma, has a law against masturbating while watching two people having sex in a car.

In Willowdale, Oregon, no man may curse while having sex with his wife.

In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth.

Hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, are required by law to furnish their rooms with twin beds only. There should be a minimum of two feet between the beds, and it is illegal for a couple to make love on the floor between the beds.

In Kingsville, Texas, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property.

A Tremonton, Utah law states that no woman is allowed to have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance. In addition to normal charges, the woman's name will be published in the local newspaper. The man does not receive any punishment.

No woman may go in public without wearing a corset in Norfolk, Virginia.

In the state of Washington there is a law against having sex with a virgin under any circumstances. (including the wedding night)

The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is the missionary-style position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal.

In Florida it is illegal for single, divorced, or widowed women to parachute on Sunday afternoons.

In Ames Iowa a husband may not take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with his wife.

A law in Alexandria, Minnesota makes it illegal for a husband to make love to his wife if his breath smells like garlic, onions, or sardines.

In Bozeman, Montana, you can't perform any sexual acts in the front yard of any home, after sundown, and if you are nude.

A Helena, Montana law states that a woman cannot dance on a saloon table unless her clothing weights more than three pounds, two ounces.

Hotel owners in Hastings, Nebraska are required by law to provide a clean, white cotton nightshirt to each guest. According to the law, no couple may have sex unless they are wearing the nightshirts.

Any couple making out inside a vehicle, and accidentally sounding the horn during their lustful act, may be taken to jail according to a Liberty Corner, New Jersey law.

During lunch breaks in Carlsbad, New Mexico, no couple should engage in a sexual act while parked in their vehicle, unless their car has curtains.

In Nevada sex without a condom is considered illegal.

In Cleveland, Ohio women are not allowed to wear patent-leather shoes.

In Connorsville, Wisconsin no man shall shoot of a gun while his female partner is having a sexual orgasm.


Funny City Names

Apparently these are real names of actual locations:

Arsoli (Lazio, Italy)
Bastard (Norway)
Beaver (Oklahoma, USA)
Beaver Head (Idaho, USA)
Brown Willy (Cornwall,UK)
Chinaman's Knob (Australia)
Climax (Colorado, USA)
Cunt (Spain)
Cunter (Switzerland)
Dikshit (India)
Dildo (Newfoundland, Canada)
Dong Rack (Thailand-Cambodia border)
Dongo (Congo - Democratic Republic)
Fuku (Shensi, China)
Fukue (Honshu, Japan)
Fukui (Honshu, Japan)
Fukum (Yemen)
Hold With Hope (Greenland)
Intercourse (Pennsylvania, USA)
Lickey End (West Midlands, UK)
Little Dix Village (West Indies)
Lord Berkeley's Knob (Sutherland, Scotland)
Middle Intercourse Island (Australia)
Muff (Northern Ireland)
Nobber (Donegal, Ireland)
Pis Pis River (Nicaragua)
Sexmoan (Luzon, Philippines)
Seymen (Turkey)
Shafter (California, USA)
Shag Island (Indian Ocean)
Shitlingthorpe (Yorkshire, UK)
Tittybong (Australia)
Tong Fuk (Japan)
Turdo (Romania)
Twatt (Orkney, UK)
Wank (Germany)
Wankendorf (Schleswig-Holstein, Germany)
Wankener (India)
Wankie (Zimbabwe)
Wankie Colliery (Zimbabwe)
Wanks River (Nicaragua)
Wankum (Germany)
Wet Beaver Creek (Australia)


Turkey day

Happy thanksgiving to those that celebrate! Eat, drink, and be merry.


No Underwear!

A Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart had their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot.

The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of under-pants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.

Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything into place.

The wife stood back up, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.

The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.


Weird History Part 2

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes the stew had food in it that had been there for quite awhile. Hence the rhyme, "peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old."

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man "could bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat."

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with a high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning and death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Most people did not have pewter plates, but had trenchers, a piece of wood with the middle scooped out like a bowl. Often trenchers were made from stale bread which was so old and hard that they could be used for quite some time. Trenchers were never washed and a lot of times worms and mold got into the wood and old bread. After eating off wormy, moldy trenchers, one would get "trench mouth."

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or "upper crust."

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a "wake."

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a "bone-house" and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they thought they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the "graveyard shift") to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a "dead ringer."

And that's the truth. . . (who ever said that History was boring)?


Weird History

Next time you're washing your hands and the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s.

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children -- last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water."

Houses had thatched roofs -- thick straw -- piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the dogs, cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof -- hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could really mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt, hence the saying "dirt poor."

The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they kept adding more thresh until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway, hence, a "thresh hold." 


Due Date

My wife and i went to see Due Date last night and the movie was hilarious! Zach Galifianakis and Robert Downey Jr. made a great team in the movie. Zach's one of a kind humor was throughout the whole movie and made me laugh the whole time. Go see it or wait for it to come out and rent it. I don't think i will buy this one but its definitely worth seeing. Also a bit of added humor was that the woman behind me in the theatre was farting through the whole movie it was crazy she just let em rip!


There are still good people in the world.

(Nov. 19) -- Dave Talley really, really could have used the money. But when the homeless man from Tempe, Ariz., found a backpack full of cash, he knew it wasn't his -- so he returned it.

"I could've done a lot of things with the money," Talley told The Arizona Republic, "but none of them would've been right." 

On Tuesday, Talley, a recovering addict who lives in a Tempe shelter, discovered a backpack filled with $3,300 in cash and no wallet to help identify its rightful owner. 

Talley said he suppressed an urge to keep the money and turned it over to the Tempe Community Action Agency, where he lives.

"There's a lot of things I could have taken care of but the fact of the matter was it was not my money. I didn't earn it," he told KNXV-TV, ABC15.

A flash drive found in the backpack helped police find the owner of the cash, Arizona State University student Bryan Belanger, who had planned on buying a car with the money. 

Belanger said he learned an important lesson. 

"It's just the greatest thing I've ever experienced, I think," he told ABC15. "It really is a lesson to keep your faith in people and character exists no matter what your circumstances are."

Talley's good deed has scored the man an outpouring of generosity -- and 15 minutes of fame -- as word of his honesty spread. People who've heard about his story have given him cash, job leads and even invited him to Thanksgiving dinner with their families.

"When I handed the backpack over I thought that was it, it was a done deal," Talley told KSAZ, Fox10 in Phoenix. "I am just overwhelmed how people have reacted to all this."

Belanger gave Tally a cash reward and plans to volunteer at the Tempe Community Action Agency
Mara Gay



I have been playing pool for about 5 years now, but only recently have i started to really love it. It is a great outlet for me, when playing you really have to be in the moment and concentrate on the game. When you sink a ball or have a nice run it is such a satisfying feeling. Next i want to play the game called snooker which is very similar to billiards.



I love the change of the seasons, the crisp cool air, all the colors of the trees and the falling leaves. I cant wait for winter. Time to wax up the snowboard!



I was browsing the net and started looking at graffiti, some of these pieces are absolutely amazing. I was thinking of how cool it would be if city's could set up a designated area to let these artist do there work.  

This is awesome and is definitely considered art.

On the other hand there is this, "tagging". Which isn't really Graffiti at all and makes area's look like crap. Not to mention it is always found on peoples business fronts, mail vans, trucks, and really is vandalism. 

This is crap, and makes a bad name for Graffiti.

I do not condone Graffiti, it is against the law and considered vandalism, no matter how awesome the art work is. If you are going to do this at least choose your canvas wisely and don't mess up peoples property. 


Now thats a promo!

A Florida auto dealership has a new promo, buy a truck get a free AK-47!! SERIOUSLY? Time to take a trip to Florida.              Check out the article.


Our Declaration of Independence and Constitution only took 25 pages. So why on earth do new laws and propositions take thousands of pages?


Got a Kiiten! His name is vinny. He is about 12 weeks old. Got him from a pet adoption agency  at a pet store. He is super energetic (like most kittens), He makes me laugh all the time.